I want to keep asking myself if this day could get any more bizarre, JUST so that it DOES (it seems every time I've asked that today, something else happens).
Let's start with this morning. I woke up singing. WHAT? Singing? Yes. Singing a song from my elementary school days. Which song you ask? Nope, not "inch-by-inch", not even "Turn-The-Butter" (a very popular ditty from the 3rd grade era). . . The song I woke up singing was some Hebrew song we learned called.. "Shima Yisrael"(why we had to learn so much Hebrew I have yet to learn, but I'm happy we did because it lead to this morning's episode). I had no idea how to even deal with the fact that I woke up singing that, so in complete confusion I tried to ignore it for the time being, turned off my alarm (1 minute before it went off! Love that) and rolled (literally) out of bed.
Carolyn and I dedicated this day to cleaning day (read: 1.5 hours spent doing laundry, 6 hours spent procrastinating 2 hours spent eating/drinking coffee, and 30 minutes of "power cleaning"). We started out day bright and early (10:00am?) at the local Laundry Matt. THIS is where we both actually started fearing that the world was coming to an end. Every single person was losing their minds there. I kid you not, Every. Single. Person. Let's start with the two old women who came in to use the computers/internet. They walked right up to where our cart was blocking one of the 5 empty chairs, and stood there in pure disgust looking around for whoever the jerks were that were blocking them from access to that one specific computer. Going to move the cart for them, we were highly entertained by the fact that they seemed to be speaking in some sort of code to each other. Not to mention, they both were sporting some sort of 80's arobasize-gone old woman flower power pattern-(gone homeless?) attire. I really think they had something going here and will keep my eyes out for the new fads in the upcoming Vogue (I actually would not be shocked to see something like that in some schmansy "trying to be weird" fashion shoot gone wrong)... Hideous. Fantastic.
The best part was when the woman got up to walk by us and Carolyn GRABBED her little laundry cart like she was going to try and steal it. Way to protect the goods, little sis!
Which laundry-mat character is up next? Ahhh yes. . . The girl with the dog.
First of all, please do not bring your dog to the laundry matt where people are trying to CLEAN their clothes of things such as dirt and animal hair. I don't care how cute it is (this dog was not cute, and actually if it was I probably wouldn't have cared. . . Obviously I am a shallow, horrible person). I really can't say much more than this image about the whole girl+dog situation. It was weird, it bothered me in odd ways, and the dog kept rolling around in it's cart from the uneven wheels, drifting from dryer to dryer without it's owner even being aware.
There's more. There was a guy (who had obviously never actually used the laundry matt's washing machines for his own clothing) that kept walking in and passing by Carolyn and I. Each time he'd pass, getting CLOSER and closer. He'd walk in and walk to the back of the laundry mat and do nothing, then come back up to the front and ask someone to give him a quarter for two dimes and a nickel, then walk out and be back again for the same routine about a minute later.
As this guy kept up his cycle, we took notes on the random guy standing right outside the laundry matt door waving at people and directing them on up the road as they exited the building. VERY odd. No further comments for him, because at this point everything seemed so off in the world that C-dawg and I really thought it might be ending. "Where were you at the end of the world?" I was doing my dirty laundry.
Fast forward through some random small bumps in the norm', and pause at the part when we went to dinner (sushi of course). I actually think they put pot in our sushi. The spicy tuna roll was FANTASTIC, but really did smell like it was loaded full of fresh bud.
And oddly enough, the whole meal just started seeming better and better AFTER I ate said pot-roll. Do you want to know what one of the most awkward things to do (as a waiter) to a customer is? I'll tell you because it happened to me tonight.
Step 1. Come up with a nice big pitcher and ask if you'd like some more water.
Step 2. Wait for an answer,
Step 3. When your customer says "yes please" and starts to raise her glass for you, awkwardly walk away without filling glass.
Step 4. Enjoy as the oddness factor settles in.
So.. Bellies stuffed and stoned off our asses, Carolyn and I venture back to do our 30 minutes of cleaning that we left all day open to do. I seriously wish I could say we had matching head bands and roller skates with rags on the bottoms of them (like in Pippy Longstocking)... But alas, it was just us with our regular rags.
Cleaning finished, it's time for the best part of the day here at the King-Apartment. Time for each of us to sit on our laptops with headphones on where we can still see each other but enjoy different tastes of music and IM completely awkward comments to each other form 5 feet away (who needs actual talking anymore anyway?)
Here's how our conversation's been going so far:
"I want to go dancing" - Carolyn
"I just took my pants off" - Michelle
(long silence)
"I
actually just saw a bat fly across the room out of the corner of my eye. I think I'm Hallucinating. But really, I did see it. Wings flapping and everything." - Carolyn
(more awkward silence/laughter)
"I haven't even ever taken any hard core drugs or anything" - Carolyn
(lots of laughs).
So. There you have it.
p.s. currently listening to: some Hebrew song.
I moved into my new place (finally). With the help of a certain panda bear, my new bed has also finally been purchased and ever so lovingly placed in it's new home for me to rest my weary (and very owwy) shoulders on. No more broken sofa bed = a very happy Belly.
.
Carolyn and I dedicated this day to cleaning day (read: 1.5 hours spent doing laundry, 6 hours spent procrastinating 2 hours spent eating/drinking coffee, and 30 minutes of "power cleaning"). We started out day bright and early (10:00am?) at the local Laundry Matt. THIS is where we both actually started fearing that the world was coming to an end. Every single person was losing their minds there. I kid you not, Every. Single. Person. Let's start with the two old women who came in to use the computers/internet. They walked right up to where our cart was blocking one of the 5 empty chairs, and stood there in pure disgust looking around for whoever the jerks were that were blocking them from access to that one specific computer. Going to move the cart for them, we were highly entertained by the fact that they seemed to be speaking in some sort of code to each other. Not to mention, they both were sporting some sort of 80's arobasize-gone old woman flower power pattern-(gone homeless?) attire. I really think they had something going here and will keep my eyes out for the new fads in the upcoming Vogue (I actually would not be shocked to see something like that in some schmansy "trying to be weird" fashion shoot gone wrong)... Hideous. Fantastic.
First of all, please do not bring your dog to the laundry matt where people are trying to CLEAN their clothes of things such as dirt and animal hair. I don't care how cute it is (this dog was not cute, and actually if it was I probably wouldn't have cared. . . Obviously I am a shallow, horrible person). I really can't say much more than this image about the whole girl+dog situation. It was weird, it bothered me in odd ways, and the dog kept rolling around in it's cart from the uneven wheels, drifting from dryer to dryer without it's owner even being aware.
And oddly enough, the whole meal just started seeming better and better AFTER I ate said pot-roll. Do you want to know what one of the most awkward things to do (as a waiter) to a customer is? I'll tell you because it happened to me tonight.
